The Past I'd Rather Keep Buried
by AngelOfDusk
Summary: When merlin's brother shows up in the form of an abused 10 year old it leaves his friends wondering if they really know merlin at all and sets them of on a quest to unravel merlin's past. a past that he'd rather keep hidden. (set between s5ep2 and ep3 Good!Mordred protective!Merlin, bit of OOC Mordred cause he looks up to merlin. reveal!fic BEING REWRITEN
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

**Brotherly Reunions And Shocking Revelations**

Gaius was walking towards the armoury, his hands were shaking nervously and his eyes were drenched with grief and pity.

When Gaius reached the room his eyes locked on to Merlin who was carrying Arthur's armour while chatting to the rest of the knights including Mordred, Leon, Elyan, Gwaine, Percival, Tristan and the king himself: Arthur.

"Gaius, what can I do for you?" Arthur questioned.

"Actually sire, I was wondering if I might have word with Merlin for a moment" Gaius said keeping his eyes locked on his young ward, studying him careful.

"Well, can't it wait until later? Merlin's doing something right now" Arthur said annoyingly.

"No, sire, I'm afraid it can't" Gaius explained.

Noticing the pure dread in Gaius' voice Merlin spoke up.

"Gaius, what's wrong?" he said warily.

Gaius gave a bid sigh before saying "We found Alec"

With that one statement Merlin dropped the armour in shock and stuttered out "W-w-what?"

"He's in your room if you want too se-" but before Gaius could finish his sentence Merlin had already shot out of the room and was running towards the physician's chambers leaving few confused knights behind.

Merlin swiftly entered his room; his eyes instantaneously lock on the one other person in it.

Huddle up it the corner furthest away from Merlin was a young boy, about the age of ten but looked really thin for his age. He had scruffy black hair that hadn't been washed in ages and his skin would be the same pale shade as merlin's if it were not married my numerous cuts and bruises as well as other more serious injuries. His clothes we ripped and dirty not to mention the fact that they were way to big.

"Alec" Merlin whispered softly to the boy as he bent down on one knee.

The boy – Alec – glanced up revealing his finger marked covered face and enchanting blue eye which were identical Merlin's.

"M-Merl-lin?" Alec stuttered disbelievingly.

"Who else would it be?" Merlin said gently.

The young boy's eyes started to tear up at the sight of Merlin before clinging on to him, burying his face in the Merlin's chest and started sobbing.

"shhh everything's going to be okay" Merlin cooed as he rocked the boy back and forth in his arms.

After a few minutes of Alec cradling in his arm he finally fell as sleep but Merlin kept him comfortably huddled against his chested.

"Gaius, who's Alec?" Mordred asked the physician.

Everybody leaned in closer curious as to Gaius' response.

"That is for merlin to tell you and merlin alone" he answered receiving a sigh from the knights.

"Well in that case we'll just have to go and ask him, won't we?" Arthur said, everybody else agreed.

"Sire, the might not be the best idea" Gaius said but they had already left.

Once the group of knight got to the physician's chamber they were surprised to find Merlin sleeping peaceful in the corner of his room with a small boy cradled in his arms.

'_I guess that's Alec' _Mordred thought as he gazed at the boy.

"Merlin, wake up" Arthur said loudly cause both Merlin and Alec to wake up.

"ahhhhhhh!" Alec screamed once he caught sight of the knights "please, leave me alone, please, I didn't do anything, please"

As Alec continued sobbing, Merlin wrapped his arm around the boys small figure in attempt to comfort him but when it didn't work he turned to the knights and said "leave" not allowing a room for argument.

Once the knight left Merlin spent the next hour calming Alec down till eventually he fell as sleep.

When Merlin had asked him to leave Arthur had waited outside with the rest of knights for a few minutes listening to the fearful pleads of Alec and the soft voice of Merlin but once he realized that Merlin wasn't coming out any time soon he left along with the rest of the knights. He was now sitting on his bed thinking about what the relationship between Alec and Merlin was.

"Arthur, love, what's wrong?" Gwen asked when she got back from the council meeting the she be overseeing.

"Merlin" Arthur stated as Gwen went in to panic mode.

"Merlin! What wrong with him? Is everything alright?" she muttered hysterically.

"Gwen, Merlin's fine. It's that boy I'm curious about." Arthur mused.

"What boy?" Gwen asked.

"Today Gaius came to the armoury saying need to talk to Merlin. He said 'we found Alec', Merlin was absolutely shocked, he literally ran to his room" Arthur explained.

"Really, so who is Alec?" Gwen asked disbelievingly.

"I'm not sure" Arthur stated truthfully "when me and knights went to his room to asked him, we found him sleeping cuddled up in the corner of the with a boy cradled in arms"

"So how old was this boy?" Gwen questioned

"He looked about 10." Arthur responded

"What did he look like?" Gwen inquired.

"A lot like Merlin actually except…" Arthur trailed off.

"Except?" Gwen prompted.

"He was completely covered in cuts and bruises, and I could have sworn he had a broken rib or two, seriously you should have seen him" Arthur described.

Gwen was about to asked another question when she was cut off by her own yawn.

"Come on, Arthur, let's go to bed, we can ask Merlin about Alec tomorrow" she said tiredly before climbing into bed.

After a couple of minutes Arthur finally fell asleep with one thought on his mind: 'maybe I don't know Merlin as well as I thought I did'


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the lovely reviews, when I published this i didn't think anybody would like it let alone favourite it.

I forgot the put this on the last chapter: '_thoughts_' _'druid speak'_

Ages:

Merlin:20

Mordred: 16

Leon: 30

Gwen: 22

Arthur: 23

Alec: 10

Gaius: OLD! Sorry, not

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**Chapter 2:**

Merlin sat on an old wooden stool to side of his bed where Alec was currently sleeping. A while ago Merlin was woken up from his makeshift bed by Alec screaming and thrashing around in sleep obviously having a nightmare, once Merlin had woken him up it had taken him almost an hour to calm him down and get him to go to sleep again.

Merlin looked out of his window at sun as in rose up from behind the busy-market-to-be casting a warm and beautiful light on to the town but despite the towns beauty all Merlin could think was '_I should probably get Arthur his breakfast._'

He walked off to his wooden wardrobe and grabbed his usual attire: a blue tunic, a brown leather jacket, trousers, brown boots and, of course, his blue neckerchief.

He walked toward the archway that connected his room to Gaius' and allowed his hand to rest on the door knob clearly thinking he had forgotten something. Just then something clicked in his head, before proceeding to walk to his bedside cabinet grab a piece of parchment from the draw and write down message.

When he was satisfied with his note, Merlin set it down on the stool that he was previously sitting on and left of the kitchens.

Despite the early time, the servant's corridor (unlike the others) was extremely hectic as Merlin dodged the passing servants on his way to the kitchen.

"Merlin! On time today, for once, that's a surprise" Mary, the head cook, said when he arrived.

Merlin flashed his signature grin and said "well, you know me, Mary, I live to be surprising and just between me and you I have a feeling that Arthur's going to be more of a prat then usually today"

Mary laughed at Merlin's good-natured comment towards the king before giving him Arthur and Gwen's breakfast.

Meanwhile in Merlin's room Alec was just waking up, as he faded back into reality he was alarmed at the fact Merlin was not there next to him and shot straight out before wincing because of his injures.

Once he'd recovered from his moment of pain his eyes searched the room franticly. '_I knew it was too good to be true' _he said to himself when he realized Merlin wasn't in the room but then he caught sight of a folded piece of parchment with his name on in Merlin's hand writing.

Cautiously he reached for the piece of parchment and slowly opened it, it read:

To Alec

Sorry if I'm not there when you wake up, I had to go to work.

I promise I'll be back before lunch, maybe sooner.

Lots of love from Merlin

P.S. I have a surprise for you, later.

Alec noticeably relaxed after reading the letter safe in the knowledge that Merlin had not abandoned him.

As the sun rose in the sky Alec had to shield his eyes from the light shining through the window, noticing the curtain he climbed out of bed and made his way over to close it, but after he took his first step he tripped of his trouser leg and fell flat on his face.

Realizing that his clothes were not going the allow him to move around much he grabbed some of Merlin's clothes, which were still not his size but where smaller than the ones he'd got on, and began to put them on.

Once he was finished with that task he rolled up Merlin's trousers and continued towards the window with full intention of closing the curtain but instead of doing so he permitted himself to be captivated by the stunning view as he lifted himself on to the window ledge and sat down.

Merlin entered the royal chambers, opened the curtains and with his usual grin said "rise and shine."

"Merlin" Arthur groaned "your too early, go away"

"Early?" Merlin questioned "hey, I'll have you know I'm actually on time"

"He's right, Arthur, he IS on time" Gwen said as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Instantly Arthur shot up in alarm "Merlin! On time! It's the end of the world!" he said clearly overexerting things.

"well, regardless of whether the world's going to end you still have a council meet today, so get up" Merlin said.

As Merlin helped Arthur to get dressed Gwen when to the antechamber to get changed. A couple of minutes later Arthur and Gwen were sit at the table as they ate the breakfast.

"Oh yeah, I all most forgot, Merlin, who's Alec?" Arthur said between mouthfuls.

Instantly Merlin's expression changed from cheerful and happy to cold and stern.

"That's none of your business" Merlin said emotionlessly.

Gwen and Arthur gave Merlin a surprised look, never having heard Merlin use that tone before. _'Why won't he tell me who Alec is?"_ Arthur and Gwen thought together unknowingly.

"Is there anything else you require, your majesties?" Merlin asked, snapping the king and queen from their thoughts.

"n-no, you may leave" Arthur said recovering from his earlier surprise.

Once may Merlin left the room Gwen and Arthur glanced at each, clearly worried about Merlin.

"Why won't he tell us who Alec is?" Arthur asked no one in particular but Gwen answered anyway.

"I don't know" she said.

Meanwhile Merlin was walking back to the kitchen with Gwen and Arthur's empty breakfast plates in hand. '_Why won't they leave me alone? It's none of their business who Alec is'_ Merlin muttered to himself.

When Merlin reached the kitchen he put the plates in the sink to be washed before heading back to his room seen as he had nothing to do.

Once Merlin reached his room he noticed that Alec was not in his bed, panicking Merlin's eyes scanned the room and surely enough his eyes caught Alec's figure resting on the window sill looking out of it.

He was no longer wearing the scruffy, old, dirty clothes from the other day. He was wear what looked like Merlin's clothes with his oversized blue tunic, brown jacket and brown trousers, he looked just like a mini Merlin the only difference was Merlin's clothes fit him and he was wearing a neckerchief.

"What _are_ you wearing?" Merlin asked when he saw the boy's attire.

Instantly Alec's head snapped 'round and his eyes started to tear up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. I'll take them off if you like" he pleaded hysterically as he proceeded to take his jacket off only to be stopped by Merlin.

"Alec, you don't have to take them off. I just thought they looked funny on you is all." Merlin explained "hey, guess what? I'm getting my wages tomorrow so we can go to town and get you your own clothes, okay?"

Alec nodded enthusiastically as he wiped the tears from his eyes and hugged Merlin who instantaneously knelt down and hugged back but the embrace didn't last long.

"Merlin, Gaius request your presence in the lower town" an anonymous knight shouted from the over side of the entrance to the physicians chambers.

Alec visibly winced at the knight's loud voice before Merlin called back "okay, thanks"

Merlin turned back to Alec and said "hey, I have to go help Gaius I'll be back later, okay?"

Alec gave a small nod as Merlin stood up and headed the door but not before Alec grabbed his sleeve and said "please come back"

Merlin gave Alec a small, sad smile and said "I will, I promise"

Hesitantly Alec unclenched his fist around Merlin's sleeve allowing him to continue on his course towards the door.

In the meantime the knights and Arthur where discussing who Alec might be in the armoury.

"Maybe he's Merlin's brother, I mean they do look the same" suggested Leon.

"Perhaps, but I didn't see him the last time I went Ealdor" Arthur explained.

"Well, he was pretty beat up; he could have been captured by bandits or something" Mordred proposed.

"I know a way we can sort this whole mess out; ask Merlin" Gwaine pointed out.

"I've already tried and he said 'it none of your business'" Arthur said shivering at the memory.

"Well, maybe if we ask Gaius he could tell us" Tristan put forward.

"I second that" said Elyan.

"Me too" said Percival.

The knights walked out of the armoury and spotted a guard which Arthur then called over.

"Yes, sire" he said.

"Do you know where Gaius is?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, he's in the lower town the inn keeper is sick and he's treating him" the guard said before leave.

"Well, there go's that idea" Arthur said.

"Let just ask him later" Leon said, everybody agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Time skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alec, I'm back" Merlin said as he re-entered his and was instantaneously greeted by Alec's warm smile.

Alec was about to go and hug the older man but realized that Merlin had his right hand held behind his clearly hiding something. As curiosity got the best of him his eyes rested on Merlin's arm trying to guess what he was holding.

"Alec" Merlin said causing Alec to glance up "remember that note said I had a surprise for you" Alec nodded "well, here it is"

Merlin handed Alec a small wooden box with a dragon carved into it which then then opened to reveal…

* * *

ooooo small cliffy (please don't hate me!)

so what do you thinks in the box? if anybody can guess correctly i will answer any question about this story he or she ask.

thank you for reading


	3. Chapter 3

**I present to you chapter 3 and unless your an American you will know that i stayed i up till 12:09am to finish this.**

**Also i want some credit to go to Sparky199 ( u/5842439/Sparky199) for helping with this chapter**

**- AngelOfDusk (Katsuya Levinton)**

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Chapter 3

Alec opened the small wooden box to reveal a cylinder pendant attached to a gold chain. The pendant was a see through hollow cylinder but inside was swirling blue sand.

"Is this what think it is?" Alec asked.

"Yup" Merlin said revealing a similar necklace from underneath his shirt which was pretty much the same but had red sand in side. "It's rightfully yours anyway"

"No it's not, that's a family heirloom I'm not part of your family, I never should of existed" Alec croaked out last part then he burst crying and his knees gave way making him fall to the floor.

Seeing the younger boy's distress Merlin knelt down, enveloped him in a hug and said "don't say that, please, don't say that"

"But it's true" Alec sobbed in to Merlin's chest.

At this point Merlin looked conflicted half agreeing, half disagreeing but after a few minutes he finally said "that's not true Alec. It doesn't matter who your father is or how you were conceived, okay?"

"but-" Alec began to protest but was cut of my Merlin.

"No but's, now how about we go to town and get you some clothes?"

Alec wiped the tears away from his eyes and nodded before Merlin led him out of the room.

##############################################################################################

Gaius had just finish prescribing the inn keeper with some medicine and was now packing up he things to return to chambers when the knights and king Arthur came up to him.

"Is there something you need, sire." He asked politely.

"Yes actually, I know you said yesterday that if we wanted to know who Alec is then we'd have to ask Merlin" Gaius nodded hesitantly sensing a 'but' coming on "but Merlin won't tell us so could you?"

Gaius looked thoughtful for a moment before saying "all I'm saying is that they're related if you want to find out more then, as I said, ask Merlin. Now excuse me" and with that Gaius walked away from the knights.

"So there related" Gwaine said before sighing "uh, that doesn't tell us anything."

"Well, were not going to get anything more out of Gaius maybe we should try asking Merlin again" Mordred said equal as curious as to the young boy hanging around his king.

"Maybe but let's try tomorrow, I've already asked Merlin once today" Arthur said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~time skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In was late in the afternoon and Mordred had just finished training with the knights (A.K.A guessing-who-Alec-is-time) and was now walking towards Emrys' room, which in his opinion was way too small for his king.

Meanwhile Merlin was in his room helping Alec chose which of his new clothes he was going to wear.

"How about this?" Merlin said holding up a white tunic, much like the one he'd seen Mordred in when he'd first met him.

Alec nodded eagerly then slipped the tunic on over his bandage and scar cover torso before asking Merlin how it looked.

Merlin was about to answer when he heard someone knock the door to the physician's.

"Who is it?" Merlin called loudly then expectantly the answer came in the form of telepathy.

"_It's me, Emrys, can I come in?"_ Mordred thought.

Even though Alec didn't know what Mordred said he still saw Merlin's eyes darken as he asked "Merly, you okay?"

"I fine Alec" Merlin said, softly, to the younger boy before answering Mordred "_fine, come in"_

When Mordred asked Emrys if he could come in he half-expected that he would say 'no' or simply ignore him so when Emrys invited him in he was overcome with joy.

Merlin was leaning on the wall just right of the archway leading to his room and gestured for Mordred to sit on the chair under the table.

"Do you want some tea?" Merlin asked.

"No, thank you" Mordred replied respectively.

Both men sat in silence waiting for the other to say something.

'_why dose he hate me so much?'_ Mordred thought not realising he was using telepathy.

"_I don't hate you, Mordred_" was Merlin's immediate response.

"_Well, you certainly act like you do_" Mordred replied without thinking then instantly regretted it, thinking that he angered his king.

The two went silent again.

"_You know the knights aren't going to give up unless you tell them who Alec is, Emrys_" Mordred informed him.

"_And do you count yourself as one of those knights_" Emrys asked.

Mordred look down at his feet and replied "_not if you don't want me to be_"

Merlin sighed then said out loud "if I tell you, will you get Arthur and the rest of them of my back"

"I'll try but I can't make any promises" Mordred explained.

Merlin gave another sigh and said "Alec is my half-brother"

"Half?" Mordred questioned.

"Yes, on my mother's side" Merlin confirmed.

Mordred look confused for a moment before saying "your mother's side? But he looks so much like you and according to Arthur you look nothing like your mother"

Merlin sighed for the third time during this conversation and said "it's complicated"

"Isn't everything?" Mordred said with a smile but it immediately turn into a frown when Emrys didn't return it.

"Alec's not only my brother but my cousin as well" Mordred looked confused again so Merlin elaborated "Alec's father is my uncle"

"Oh, so your uncle looks like your father then?" Mordred asked innocently so he was surprised when Merlin calm expression turned angry.

"I don't want to talk about him" Merlin spat.

Mordred was about to apologize when the bell tower chimed signalling 12'o clock.

"you should go to be Mordred I don't want Arthur throwing me in the stocks because one of his knights are walking around like a zombie" Merlin joke before turning towards his room but just before his hand touched the door handle Mordred said "good night, Emrys"

"Sleep well, Mordred" Merlin replied as he entered his room.

But Mordred didn't sleep that night he was kept up think of how much of his king was still a mystery to him.


	4. AN

(A/N

Judge- *bangs hammer on table* court in session! * looks through papers then looks at me* AngelOfDusk you are changed with not updating your story ' The Past I'd Rather Keep Buried'. *fans boo* how to you plead?

Me – well I didn't update *booo* because I got stuck for a while an-

Judge – THAT'S NO EXCUSE!

Me – yes ma'am

Judge- who votes that she is let of free of charge * nobody puts their hand up* And who vote she should be punished *everybody puts their hand up* *judge bangs her hammer* AngelOfDusk you are sentenced to the stocks for a month and you must update within a week. Court adjourned.)

So there you have it I will update within the week


	5. Chapter 4

**hi, **

**yeah i know this is a little late. blame the 'let the plot dragons roar' community i decided to read one of the stories of there and i couldn't stop thinking about it.**

* * *

Chapter 4

Like yesterday Alec woke up to an empty room and once again there was a note left:

To Alec

I might be home a little bit later today so don't be alarmed if I'm not back by supper.

Love Merlin

Alec had often wondered what his brother's job was but decided to drop it. He didn't want Merlin to be angry with him, which is why he hadn't told Merlin that he overheard his conversation with the knight even though most of it was silent; it was like they were having a silent conversation.

Another thing he learnt about the knight was that his name was Mordred and that he had magic, having been able to sense magic since before he could talk. From Alec's point of view Mordred was quite nice.

Alec climbed out of bed and walked to the cupboard before grabbing some of his new clothes: a red tunic, brown trousers, and a brown jacket. He put them on and grabbed his blue leather bound sketch book, which Merlin had brought for him, and unlocked the lock with a small key that he had attached on to his necklace.

Once Alec had opened the book he grabbed a pencil and stared sketching. He stayed like that for well over an hour just drawing; he drew pictures of Merlin, Mordred, the lower town but mostly he drew a castle that looked a lot like Camelot but was more… magical.

The flag on top of this castle was not red with dragon on but was blue with a lion on and the walls of the castle was not just made of plain white stone, it had colour, blue, red and amethyst jewels were embedded in the stones make the castle glimmer.

Suddenly he heard someone knock on the door to the physician's room. They knocked again but Alec had already dropped his book in fear and was now huddled up in the corner of the room.

"Gaius, are you here?" Alec recognised the voice as the knight from yesterday – Mordred.

Alec then heard the door open before Mordred said "hello?" a groan was then heard "I guess he's not here"

Alec expected Mordred to leave so when he heard footsteps come closer the fear within he raised. The door clicked open and Alec attempted to make himself even smaller.

#########################################################

When Mordred had come to Gaius' room it was because he'd gotten an injury in training and needed him to look at it but when he realized that Gaius wasn't there he decided to use magic to heal himself so he made his way to Emrys' room to borrow his magic book.

Once Mordred entered the room he heard a whimpered to the left of him and his head instantly whipped around to meet with Alec's figure cuddled up on the bed in the corner of the room.

Noticing the boys fear Mordred slowly made his way to the other side of bed before sitting down being careful not scare him.

"Hi, I'm Mordred" he said with a soft smile.

Mordred expected Alec to say 'nice to meet you' or nothing at all so he was shocked when Alec looked up and said "you have magic."

Misinterpreting Mordred's shock for anger Alec buried his head in his knees and cried. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Alec sorry, Alec bad, Alec naughty, Alec shouldn't have existed" he wept.

As Alec continued sobbing Mordred attempted to comfort by wrapping his arm around him a saying "shhh, everything ok, I'm not angry, I promise" slowly Alec's cries seemed to lessen 'til they were only soft whimpers and whispered words.

"Alec not bad?" Alec questioned hopefully, his tear-filled, enchanting blue eyes burning in to Mordred's very soul.

"No, Alec not bad" Mordred said, going along with the fact that Alec was speaking in 3rd person.

Alec's lips form a tiny, almost unnoticeable smile before burying his head into in to Mordred's shoulder causing him to wince from his earlier injures. Instantly Alec retracted head and looked fearfully up at Mordred who smiled gently before lifting his right hand up so it was hovering of Mordred's wound. Mordred was about to ask what he was doing when Alec hand started glowing and when they stopped Mordred shoulder wasn't hurting anymore; it was completely healed.

Once again Mordred looked shocked and Alec buried his head in Mordred's chest. Mordred smiled soft at Alec before pulling him in closer and wrapping his arms around him. Just then the door click open to revealed Merlin looking very sternly at Mordred.

* * *

yeah i know it's short but on the up side CLIFFHANGER.

PLEASE REVIEW EVEN IF IS JUST TO SHOUT AT ME :)


	6. soz

**Hi, soz not a chapter this is just something I was supposed to put a the beginning for my story but forgot to ;)**

**First of all I like to keep everything completely canon up until where I'm writing so the only this that did not happen in the events leading up to this story is in episode 1, The Dragon's Call, Merlin did NOT take off his shirt. **

**Secondly I'd like to thank everyone who has, favourite-ed, reviewed or followed this this story.**

**Thirdly I'm not sure if Morgana will show up in this fic so if you think she should please say**

**Lastly WARNINGS: mentions of rape (no descriptive content), past whump!Merlin, confused!knights, past child abuse (some descriptive content but not much), good!Mordred **


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"What is going on here?" Merlin asked but before Mordred could answer Alec had leaped out of his arm and into Merlin's.

"Merly, look what Alec did" he said before showing him his draw book but he then noticed the stern look that had not completely disappeared from Merlin's face.

"Merly angry? Did Alec do something wrong? I'm sorry, I'm sorry" his knees then gave way and he collapsed on the floor crying.

Merlin knelt down next to his brother closely followed by Mordred as they tried to calm the younger boy down.

##TIME SKIP####TIME SKIP####TIME SKIP#### TIME SKIP##

After Alec 'break down' it had taken Merlin and Mordred longer than usual to calm him down but once they did he fell straight to sleep _seemingly _quite peaceful.

-Dream (Alec's POV)-

_I was lying on the floor in a cold, dark dungeon; the only source of heat or light was a small torch outside the cell which tended to go out in the middle of the night. _

_The cell didn't have bars instead is a thick wall which had a padlocked wooded door in it with a small barred widow for HIM to watch me through._

_I could hardly move my body was hurt so much, I knew I was losing a lot of blood but I didn't care. HE said that the world would be a better place without me anyway, maybe he's right._

_The door clicked and a broad man walked in, from HIS neck hung a chain if bones, human and animal alike. HE was dressed a thick leather jacket with pieces of gold and silver embedded; HE also wore a black fur coat that just about touched the floor. On the bottom half of HIS body HE wore black leather pants that were tucked into HIS boots. HIS hair was a black witch was just above shoulder length. The right side of HIS face had a red ugly scar running through it which ran straight over HIS right eye lid that encased one of HIS blue eyes. _

_But HIS appearance isn't what struck me, have been able to get used to it over time, it was the fact he was dragging Merlin by the roots of his hair who was look worse than I was and probably felt worse too_

_HE through Merlin on the floor making him scream in agony before leaving the room._

_"Merlin" I whisper but that was no answer._

_"Merlin" tried again but Merlin was completely unresponsive "Merlin, Merlin"_

_'_he's not dead, he's not' _I thought before screaming out "MERLIN!"_

-End of dream (back to 3rd person) -

"MERLIN" Alec screamed as he woke up closely followed by Merlin, who had gone to sleep after Mordred left.

"Alec? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Merlin asked concerned, as he wrapped his arms around the boy.

"I had a nightmare" Alec croaked out, crying "HE killed you"

"It was only a dream" Merlin soothed "how about you sleep with me instead?"

Alec nodded before Merlin lifted him on the other bed and climbing in with him.


	8. Chapter 6

hiya,

chapter 6 is finally here, yay and Arthur finally finds out that Alec is merlin's brother, yay.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Chapter 6

The next day Arthur was sitting in his chambers, his body was particularly painful from the rough training with the knights though it was mostly just to get Merlin of his mind.

Merlin… Arthur once thought the man was an open book, a person who couldn't keep a secret to save his life and who certainly couldn't lie to save it either. However this last week once again proved that he was a horrible judge of character.

The name Alec plagued his sleep he couldn't comprehend why Merlin would keep something like this a secret. Did he not trust him?

Arthur was snapped out of his thoughts when Merlin came in with his breakfast, he had bags under his eye but Arthur didn't notice because of the glamour's he'd put up. However the fact that he didn't get much sleep last night was obvious from the way he held himself; obvious to everyone but Arthur.

"You're up?" merlin stated surprised but it sound more like a question; a question that Arthur didn't answer.

"Arthur?" Merlin questioned, concern seeping in to his voice.

'_This is my chance_' Arthur thought before snapping his head 'round to face Merlin. "Who's Alec? And you're not getting away with it like last time" he demanded.

"And like last time it's none of your business" Merlin shouted, irritated, all concern leaving his voice "so drop it!"

"No! Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut us all out?" Arthur screamed referring to himself, Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Elyan and Gwen "we're your friends, aren't we? But we don't even know when your birthday is because you avoid conversations that bring up your past like the plague!"

"That's enough Arthur!" Merlin said.

"No! What big secret are you hiding? What are you so afraid of?" Arthur yelled.

"I SAID ENOUGH ARTHUR" Merlin shouted finally snapping "IS IT SUCH A CRIME FOR ME TO SPEND TIME WITH ME BROTHER WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN 5 YEARS?"

"Your brother?!" Arthur questioned.

"YES Arthur, my brother" Merlin said before walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him, leaving a shocked Arthur behind him.

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Merlin literally ran to his room ignoring the looks people were sending his way.

When Merlin reached his room he collapsed on his bed as he drowned himself in his own thought only to be snapped out of them by Alec.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" he asked, timidly.

"Nothing, Alec. I just had a fall out with my friend, is all, nothing to worry about" Merlin assured him.

"Okay" Alec said before climbing into the bed a snuggling up with Merlin.

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In the armoury the knights (Leon, Percival, Elyan and Gwaine) were talking to Arthur.

"So… have you talked to Merlin yet?" Gwaine asked.

"Kinda" Arthur replied hesitantly.

"What do you mean 'kinda'? It's a yes or no question" Leon stated.

"Well, it was more of an argument than a conversation" Arthur explained before retelling what happen in his room.

"I think Merlin's defiantly hiding something other than his brother" Elyan mused.

"Me too" Percival agreed.

"And we need to find out what" Gwaine finished.

"Yeah, but how?" Arthur questioned.

"I have no idea" Gwaine confessed.

"Well, we could always ask Alec" Elyan said.

"That's a great idea" Arthur said before back tracking "however I think we should get Gwen to ask him and to get Merlin out of the wat we could go on a hunting trip."

"yeah, that should work but we need to ask Gwen first" Gwaine pointed out.

"Okay, we'll ask her after training" Arthur concluded.

Okay there it is; chapter 6.

so what do you think? like it? love it? hate it?

_**please**_ tell me!


	9. Which One?

(this is going out to the followers of:

Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf

and

The Past I'd Rather Keep Buried)

hi, on my story 'Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf' i said i don't like posting to stories at once and the reason for that is that i get distracded and there for lose intrest in the story so i update slowly

so here is my solution: I my profile i'm putting up a poll asking which i sould carry on which ever has the most votes i will do.

p.s The story that gets the least votes will e continued after i've finish the other one

thank you and please vote for your favourite. :)


	10. poll closed

this is going out to the followers of:

**The Past I'd Rather Keep Buried**

**Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?**

hi, people

i know the poll has only been up for a day how ever **The Past I'd Rather Keep Buried **all ready has twice as may votes so thats the story i will be continuing

p.s i swear that i will finish **Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf? **afterwards


	11. Chapter 7

**hi, people**

**needed some time to my inspiration back for this fic so here it is chapter 7 **

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Chapter 7

Gwen was sitting in her chair sewing Arthur's t-shirt witch he'd ripped (because it got too small for Arthur's ever growing belly according to Merlin) when said king and his knights walked in.

"Arthur" Gwen smiled "what can I do for you?"

Arthur kissed Gwen, much to Elyan's discomfort before saying "me and the knights are going on a hunting trip so we were wondering ifyouwouldaskAlecwhatMerlin'shiding"

"What?" Gwen questioned not catching the last part.

"We were wondering if you would ask Alec what Merlin's hiding" he said quickly but not as quick as last time.

"No" Gwen said "I'm not prying a little boy for information just because you have some theory that Merlin's hiding something"

"Please" Arthur and the knight said making the 'ease' longer than normal unlit Gwen gave up.

"Fine but I will not upset the boy"

"Ok" they all chimed.

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Merlin was lying on his bed with Alec cuddled up next to him sleeping peacefully. Merlin loved his little brother more than anything and would do anything for him as well even betray Arthur but the boy could bring up a lot of things that he'd rather keep buried.

Last night when Alec mentioned HIM he hadn't been able to get back to sleep for he was plagued with horrible memories of whips, knives and magical shackles.

Sighing Merlin wiped Alec's hair from his closed eyes and slipped out of bed. He walked straight across the room to a full-length mirror before taking his tunic off revealing a horrible sight. Scars. That was all you could see scattered along his chest and back. Merlin ran his tow middle figures over a large gash mark.

He sighed and said to himself "I need to stop thinking about this; HE's not coming back, Alec's fine and Arthur's being a prat as usual; nothing to be worried about"

"Merly, you ok?" the newly awakened Alec asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm fine Alec. What made you think that I wasn't?" was Merlin's reply.

"You keep looking at your scars and you didn't go to sleep last night" Alec answered.

Merlin walked over to Alec and slipped back in to bed.

"I'm fine I promise now let's go back to sleep shall we" Merlin said before falling asleep completely forgetting to put his shirt back on.

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Back in Arthur's chambers the knights were talking

"Hey, I just realized something" Elyan said.

"What?" Leon asked.

"Were planning on going on a hunting trip but nobody's told Merlin" Elyan answered.

"oh yeah" Arthur answered awkwardly before turning to face Gwen who had went back to sewing Arthur t-shirt "Gwen, could you ask him I don't think he wants to see me right now"

"Thought the whole reason of you asking me too talk to Alec is cause he hasn't seen me yet?" Gwen objected.

"I'll go" Gwaine said and before anyone could protest he was out the room.

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The door to Merlin's room clicked open unnoticed by the two sleeping figures on the bed.

Gwaine walked in to Merlin's room and gasped at what he saw; Merlin's body was littered with scar mostly whip mark.

'who the hell did this?!' Gwaine thought; was to make said person pay all ready playing in my mind 'I'm going to gut them alive!" he promised himself.

Gwaine was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't realize that Merlin had woken up.

"Gwaine what are you doing here?" Merlin groaned as he rubbed his eyes. Gwaine didn't answer he just kept staring a Merlin's scars.

"Merlin" Gwaine ventured slowly "where did you get those scars?"

Instantly Merlin's eyes went to his uncovered chest then to his shirt lying on the floor.

"Nowhere" Merlin mumbled as he got out of bed and reached for his shirt but just as he reached down Gwaine grabbed.

"Merlin, please" he begged "I won't tell anyone"

"I said nowhere, Gwaine" Merlin snapped, yanking his arm out of hand.

"Fine, if you don't want to tell me I won't force" Gwaine sighed before picking up the t-shirt and handing it to merlin, who quickly put it on.

Gwaine turned around a headed to the door but just before his hand touched the handle he said "Arthur's wants to go on a hunting trip tomorrow by the way" and just like that he was gone.

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Instead of heading back to Arthur's chambers Gwaine went to his own eager to contemplate on what he'd just found out.

Gwaine room live up to expectation the knights room were the best in the whole castle besides the kings and queens. The walls were draped with Pendragon red tapestries and ornamental swords however even though these had been Gwaine's chambers for more than two years now it was still a bit overwhelming.

Gwaine plopped down on his luxurious four poster bed, he frequently wondered how the rest of the knight got out of bed on time; it was so comfortable.

As Gwaine lay on the blood red sheets his mind drifted back to Merlin speculating where he got those scars and what he was going to do to the person who gave them to him. Gwaine searched his mind for times that he could have gotten them scars but nothing came to mind, sure Merlin had been captured by bandits a lot but the scars that he saw would of left Merlin unable to move for weeks so that meant that Merlin had the scars before he meet him.

"Why dose Merlin have to make things so damn complicated?" he groaned, "I hope Gwen finds out something while were away"

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Mordred's room like Gwaine's was very lavish and spacious however instead of it being covered in red, Mordred's room was a deep shade of forest green.

Said knight/druid was sprawled over his bed levitating a blue ball up and down over his outstretched hand with a flash of his eyes.

Mordred knew it was dangerous but his magic was itching to get out, it was clawing at his skin, so much so that it was getting to hard to keep in, once again Mordred felt awed at Emrys' strength, his need to use magic was much greater than his but he was much better at reining it in.

At knock on the door cause the small performance of illegal magic to stop and the ball to fall in to Mordred's hand.

"come in" Mordred said as he sat up.

The click of the door lock could be he'd as the person on the other side swung the door open.

"Emrys" Mordred exclaimed happily when he saw him standing in the door way.

Merlin closed the door and turned to face Mordred "Mordred, I need a favour"

Mordred frowned before saying "what?"

"You're not going on the hunting trip tomorrow, are you?" Merlin asked.

"What hunting trip?" Mordred questioned, confused.

"I'll take that as a no then" Merlin said "can you take care of Alec for me?"

"Um, all right but why can't Gaius do it?"

"Well, someone from a nearby village has the sweating sickness so he needs to go there and you're the only person Alec feel comfortable with" Merlin explained.

"Ok I'd be happy to" Mordred said.

"Thank you, Mordred, I owe you one" Merlin thanked before leaving as Mordred when back to levitating the ball.

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**please review**

**and hopefully this is longer**


	12. Chapter 8

Two chapters in one week! new record... i think.

any way from now one my chapter are going to be at least 1000 words

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Chapter 8

The next day found Merlin in the courtyard preparing everything for the hunting trip, he'd been trying to avoid Gwaine and Arthur but he knew that it was just a matter of time before he had to talk to them.

Merlin felt really bad for leaving Alec especially with Mordred, Merlin still didn't trust the boy but Alec seemed to like him and he had a sixth sense for these things. Slowly Merlin felt his mind drift back to Alec's crying form when he told him he was going away for a while.

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_Merlin was sitting on his bed sharpening Arthur's sword watching Alec draw and perfect picture of Camelot's castle._

_"Alec?" Merlin said softly as he placed the sword down beside him._

_"Yes, Merly" he replied happily._

_Merlin slid off the bed and crouched down so he was Alec's height "I need to go away for a while don't worry it won't be for that long only a week or two" he explained quickly as Alec's eyes started to water._

_"You don't want me?" he questioned,_

_"What?" Merlin exclaimed, horrified that Alec would think that "of course I want you, I just need to do something"_

_"but…" Alec whimpered but was cut off by Merlin pulling him in for a hug which his instantly returned. _

_"one week and I'll be back I promise" Merlin assured him "in the meantime Mordred's going to look after you, okay?"_

_Alec nodded and buried his head into merlin's chest._

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Merlin was snapped out of his thoughts when Leon arrived; Merlin had long ago realized that he has all ways the first to show up. The second to show up was surprisingly Gwaine, who was usually the last, but when he saw that Leon was already there he looked put-off and Merlin could only guess that he wanted to talk to him before everyone else got here.

The next to arrive was Arthur who was just as keen to avoid Merlin as Merlin was him. After Arthur, Elyan walked in and seemed to be deep in thought and finally the last was Percival who had made a point of casting Merlin worried glances.

Once everybody was there they set off, unfortunately Arthur had insisted the they go to The Forest Of Ascetir, in between Camelot and Cenred's old lands which was more than three days away, then they were going to stay there for two days before heading back to Camelot so if everything went smoothly the would be back in 8 days.

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Merlin had always hated The Forest Of Ascetir, the only things that it brought with it was horrible memories of when _HE_ dragged him here and bound him to a tree with magical chains before leaving him there to starve only to come back at the last minute.

Merlin hate thinking of _HIM _but recently he been thinking about _HIM _a lot, so much so that _HIS _voice filled his sleep.

"Here looks like a good place to set up camp" Arthur said snapping Merlin from his thoughts.

As everybody dismounted Gwaine kept give Merlin curious looks and Merlin knew that he'd have to tell him some time along with the rest of the knights and Arthur, he just wished he had more time.

"Merlin, Gwaine, go get some fire wood" Arthur said in his I-am-the-king-so-don't-question-me-voice.

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Merlin and Gwaine silently gather up blocks of wood but it didn't stop Gwaine from staring at Merlin.

Once they both had fairly big piles of wood the headed back to camp but not before Gwaine seized Merlin arm and said "look Merlin, I know you don't want to tell me about those scars but if you ever want to talk to me about anything I'm here, okay?"

Merlin nodded his head gratefully before continuing toward the camp.

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Back in Camelot the queen was silently walking towards Merlin's chamber to talk to Alec wondering why she agreed to do this.

Gwen opened the door Gaius' chambers and was hit by the smell of herbs and potions. Slowly she walked towards Merlin's room but instantly came to a halt when she he'd a familiar voice from behind the door.

After some time she realized that it was Mordred's voice she was hearing.

"Mor'red?" a small boys voice said who Gwen presumed was Alec.

Mordred laughed at the nick-name and Gwen resisted the urge to giggle.

"Yes, Alec" Mordred replied.

"Where's Merly?" Alec asked and although Gwen could not see what was going on it sounded like Alec was on the verge of tears.

"He's only been gone a day, Alec, he'll be back soon I promise" Mordred assured him.

"Okay, can you stay with me tonight?" Alec asked innocently.

"Of course" Mordred complied.

Gwen decided that she wasn't going to be able to ask Alec anything tonight and left.

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Morning came on swift wings for the Camelot group as sun rose over head they mounted their saddles and continued on their way however it seemed that only a few hours past when night fell again.

As always Merlin was the first to awake followed by Arthur , then, Elyan, Percival and Gwaine.

Just as Gwaine mounted his horse he spotted a piece of parchment attached to the bridle. Being careful not to draw attention to himself he slowly open up the parchment a read it in his mind:

To Gwaine

I talk to you when we get back to Camelot

From Merlin

Gwaine grinned triumphantly as he leaped on to him horse. '_the sooner we get to The Forest Of Ascetir, the sooner we can't get back to Camelot" _he reasoned to himself.

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"What's go you in such a cheerful mood?" Arthur asked noticing the grin that had permanently stuck itself to Gwaine's face "before you were complaining about leaving Camelot for a _dreadful _forest that had _no_ taverns"

"You know me, Arthur, I _always _in a cheerful mood" was Gwaine's reply. 

"Yes, Gwaine, unfortunately I do know you" Arthur said making everybody laugh.

"Hey, what's that's supposed to mean?" Gwaine said in mock outrage causing everyone to laugh louder.

The knight's laughter filled the forest until Arthur heard a twig snap a motioned for then all to be quite. Suddenly someone or something jumped out in to the pathway; it was…

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oh cliffy! so who (or what) do you think it is?

please review


	13. Hiya

hiya,

soz i might not be updating for a while becuase my internet router is broken but when it's fixed i will be updating ? weeks worth of chapters

p.s i'm updating this from my school computer.


	14. Chapter 9

Hi,

I know I just said that my Internet was down, which it is, however at the time I completely forgot that there is cafe near my house with free Wi-Fi and plug sockets so that's where I'm updating from :)

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Chapter 9

-Morgana's POV-

I was trekked through the jungle like forest with Aithusa. Now some may ask 'Why was I, Morgana Pendragon, high priestess of the old religion, trekking through a muddy old forest in the middle of nowhere?

Well the answer to that who'd be: I have he'd of a powerful sorcerer from the ancient line of dragon lords though he did not possess the power himself; that would have coursed problems with Aithusa.

After hours of walking, my destination was in sight. It was a ginormous fortress who's walls stretched as far as the eye could see and a snow caped mountain behind it , even I was impressed.

I walked to the front gate, I could tell that the guards were about to stop me but when they saw Aithusa they let me pass and I found myself smirking.

The fortress itself was black and was practically a replica of Ismere. I walked up to the large heavy doors and waited for the guards to open is though I was tempted to blast it to pieces.

"Morgana Pendragon" I heard someone say. As I turned around my eyes rested on a bulky man with greyish black hair dressed in leather from head to toe much like the Sarrum. "What a pleasure it is to meet you" he continued before placing a kiss on my hand.

"Capricorn Ambrosius, I presume" I said coldly pulling my hand away.

"Correct" he confirmed with an evil smirk, lust filling his eyes "what can I do for you?"

"I believe that is a discussion best had behind closed doors" I said.

"Of course" he agreed, a certain edge in his voice "I the mean time dine with me."

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The feast was nowhere near Camelot's standards however I found myself enjoying the food despite myself.

"So… Morgana" he began "what can I do for you?"

"Well, I have heard that you despise Arthur Pendragon just as much as I do" I said.

"Yes, I often wish that he would just drop dead" he said venomously.

"Then I propose that we work together to make our mutual dream a reality" I offered.

Capricorn was about to say something when one of his guards came and whispered in his ear something that sounded like "we can't find him"

"WHAT?!" he bellowed "I'VE TOLD YOU I WANT HIM FOUND!" the guard shrieked back in fear before rush out the door.

"Who is it that you are looking for?" I asked genuinely curious.

Capricorn turned back to me with a dawning expression on his face having seemed to forget that I was in the room.

"Just my good-for-nothing nephew, Merlin" he explained offhandedly and I gasped when he said Merlin.

"Merlin as in skinny, gangly, neckerchief wearing, Merlin?" I said before I could stop myself.

"Yes" he said slowly "tell me; how do you know my nephew?"

"He's Arthur manservant" I said as if was the most obvious thing in the world "why are you looking for him anyway?"

"He has magic" Capricorn said and that's when my world fell apart.

"What? That's not possible" I squealed "THAT TRAITOR!"

"I have an idea" he began before explaining "my nephew has very strong magic if we can take him to the dark tower then we can perform a ceremony on him that will bend him to our will"

"Yes I know I've tried it on Guinevere Pendragon unfortunately she escaped before the ritual was completed" I said, anger boiling inside me.

"That is unfortunate, in deed however I know a way to speed up the process" he smirked.

"Really, how so?" I questioned.

"Well if you put an additional spell on the mandrakes then the time it takes in halved" he said.

"In that case all we need to do is capture Merlin" I mused.

"In deed" he agreed before calling over a guard and saying "find Arthur Pendragon my nephew will be with his bring them to me"

"And now we wait" was the last thing he said.

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Am I evil for making you wait another week to find out what happened to the knights?

the answer is... yes. i am very evil

please review


	15. REWRITE

hi,

many people have asked if i'm finishing this story and i swear i'm i just go stuck with it

in an attempted to rekindle my connection with this story i reread it and found my self not happy with the way i wrote it so i'm going to rewrite it.

while i'm doing that i will be continuing Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

so if you haven't already go check that out

AngelOfDusk

P.S this _**will**_ be finished


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